Thursday, January 22, 2009

How to Get into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame


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Blog updated on 1/11/2012 to include images and links. Content untouched.
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Well, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees have been announced for 2009. As always, there’s a mix of unquestionable inductees (Metallica), those that are somewhat deserving, but debatable (Jeff Beck) and those that make you go “huh?” (Little Anthony? Bobby Womack? Run-D.M.C.?).

What always makes the latter category more dramatic is when you consider those acts who haven’t been inducted (Kiss, Genesis, Yes, Rush, Deep Purple, Bad Company, Alice Cooper, Iggy Pop & The Stooges). So, here’s a little guide on how to get into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame:

1. Don’t be prog rock. Genesis, Yes, Rush, Jethro Tull – this means you. Apparently being a hugely influential and successful rock band is insignificant if you’ve ever done a thematic album, written a song longer than 8 minutes, and dared to integrate classical music into good ol’ rock and roll.

You aren’t likely to see The Rock Hall nominating committee wearing these.



2. Being an authentic rock and roll act is not required. Now that the Hall has caught up with the rap era, they’ve seen fit to induct Grandmaster Flash & Run-D.M.C. Do they belong in a rap hall of fame? No question. But rock and roll?

However, the nominating committee might wear these.



3. In fact, you may be better off being an R&B act. Now, no one should be signing any petitions to get the likes of Ray Charles, Fats Domino, James Brown, Aretha Franklin, Stevie Wonder, and Sam Cook booted from the Hall. They are great examples of acts that have hugely influenced both R&B and rock. However, the Rock Hall seems to have taken it upon themselves to represent whatever R&B act they see fit, regardless of whether they have much to do with rock & roll or its development. Little Anthony & The Imperials? The Flamingos? The O’Jays?

The Rock Hall nominating committee practically has this mantra tattooed on their foreheads.



4. Being a blues pioneer is a huge plus. Actually, I don’t have a quibble with this one. Rock and roll is so rooted in the blues that you’d have to question the credibility of a Hall without B.B. King, Muddy Waters, Robert Johnson, John Lee Hooker, Bo Diddley, and Howlin’ Wolf.

You could definitely hear the Nom Com spout this mantra.



5. Last of all, don’t be Kiss. Look, when the weird kid in my junior high argued about how great Kiss was, it was easy to dismiss him. I’ve never been a fan of the band anyway. When you think of how huge they’ve been in rock and roll, however, it’s time to get a grip. Apparently, the Rock Hall is about politics and Kiss have rubbed them the wrong way. Perhaps the Hall could use a little reminder that the roots of rock and roll is all about rubbing people the wrong way. Get a clue and put in the act that most deserves it that isn’t in yet.

A face only a mother could love? Certainly the Rock Hall has no love for this face.




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